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so I’m Sid DeMay i’m as instr based in

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Hamilton Ontario and I’m gonna be

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participating in the center threes in

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clubs collage exhibition in the middle

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of the back pages overall exhibition I

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first discovered scenes when I was about

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15 I was I had just switched schools

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from a French Catholic school to an

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English public school which was a very

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big transition and within that I spent a

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lot of time in the library because I did

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not have any friends as you often don’t

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when you switch schools suddenly and

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when I was spending a lot of time in

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this library I was usually in this

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little alcove area that had the comfy

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chairs and the comic books and other art

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books and that’s where I found what what

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you mean what’s a zine which is an

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amazing book that kind of goes over like

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what scenes are how you can make scenes

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different ways of putting scenes

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together and I just like fell in love I

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was obsessed with it me and one of my

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best friends made our first scene that

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year I think was called Brack asaurus

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rex it had one issue it was awful but we

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loved it and I still own a couple issues

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actually they live in the bottom of a

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box somewhere they always will from

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there I I was very lucky at the time I

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used to nanny and British Columbia with

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my aunt and uncle and my uncle lived in

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Vancouver so he would just kind of

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unleash me in the streets of Vancouver

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when he had meetings at work and I found

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spartacus books which is based in

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Vancouver and they have this awesome

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zine collection where I just bought up I

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think 30 or 40 seems there the one day

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and just kind of dove right in and from

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there I kept reading scenes when I could

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going to zine fairs but I didn’t

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actually make another zine for a year

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the first the zine I made next after

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that first one I think I was 20 20 or 21

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and I was at the tail end of a very

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abusive relationship and I made I was

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doing all this like weird poetry about

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that you know the way someone copes with

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a bad abusive breakup and I ended up

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making that into a kind of

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I born punk poetry zine and from there

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that really like took off and I started

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getting really into making scenes as

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often as possible so generally at this

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point I probably make three or four

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scenes a year and then try and call it

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down to mines I actually like want to

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keep producing sometimes you make ones

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that though they’re fun in the moment

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they might not apply anymore after a

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little bit or something so now it’s just

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something I kind of do as a form of

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survival I find that it’s easier to

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reflect on my experiences within a year

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by making a zine or something that’s

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bothering me or stories from my youth a

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lot of things like that end up coming up

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in my zine a lot so the this news here

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the ghost trash series is actually my /

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Z which is a personal zine so a lot of

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people make those when they’re just kind

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of reflecting on their own experiences I

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make one a year so this is the last two

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years of my life I’m working on a third

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one now for dizzy and fair that is

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happening during back pages actually and

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generally what I like to do with these

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ones it’s just kind of reflect on like

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what I’ve gone through that year and

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write about like a bunch of goofy things

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that I feel and experience so like

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within this one I did a bunch of some

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poetry stuff I talked a bit about all

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the cartoon goth girls had crushes on

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growing up just kind of an exploration

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of core identity I did a bit about

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leaving my abusive relationship and how

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that affected me and some stuff about my

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grandmother who passed away about seven

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years ago now which was something that I

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didn’t deal with for a really long time

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it was a year that I made this scene

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that actually finally started working

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through the grief of that and what it

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meant to have my grandmother be dead

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which i think is something that a lot of

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people get to do with scenes they get to

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explore moments in their life that maybe

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they didn’t have the time or the space

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to cope with them and experience them

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when it happened so these are a really

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good way to like have a retrospective on

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something really significant that

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happened to you that you just didn’t

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know how to

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with at the time and that’s again what

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happens through the following year – I

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talked about like my really bad

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depression that winter and my really

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horrible way of making friends in which

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I got too drunk passed out and vomited

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on someone’s bed and then was anxious

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for months so it’s just like the only

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way that I know how to work through a

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lot of these emotions cuz when they’re

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happening I don’t I’m not a very

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reactive person I’m a very pensive

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person so when it happens I kind of just

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shut down and don’t know how to react to

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it later and that’s one of the main

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things that I get from my zine zazz

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being able to react to things that

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happened well is growing up or things

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that happened to me within the last year

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and get to actually decide how I feel

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about them as opposed to just the

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initial this happened okay I’m gonna put

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that away until later and then my

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identities kind of weave into all of

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these because a lot of the times my

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identities affect these moments of like

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not knowing if I’m in a space that’s

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safe or queer and trans people or not

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being able to make the space for myself

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that I should be or discussing my

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dysphoria or this one was actually when

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I did for class that I ended up

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continuing to print that’s about

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non-binary genders and how people use

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their fashion to assert their gender

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identity which i think is a really

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fascinating area that we don’t see a lot

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when you talk about fashion magazines

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it’s very binary so seeing how a lot of

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non-binary people can use color and

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experiences and draw that into their

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clothing is really fascinating and I

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think that it’s one of those ways that

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we can talk back and really make

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statements about our queer trans

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identities that we normally can’t so I

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feel like this is one of the ways that I

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can be unapologetically queer and trans

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and give that to people because one of

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the first things I read that I liked

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really identified with was short and

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queer which was about

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a queer trans man and I just fell in

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love with it I wanted to know everything

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about this person I bought other jeans

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that they made just to learn more about

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their experience because I was

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identifying with it so thoroughly and I

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always kind of hope that maybe my ziens

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will do that for someone else and if

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they do then I guess I’ve done a good

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job as a zine ster

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